A Guide for a Low-Tech Childhood

How my family navigates screens and technology with our two kids—including how we introduced screens when they were little, and why we've chosen a limited-but-still accessible approach.

Technology is an unavoidable tool in our modern world. It’s everywhere, used by everyone, at all times. And while various technology has improved our lives and is completely necessary in many ways, it’s also a double-edged sword when it comes to children.

When we were new parents nine years ago, my husband and I talked extensively about how we wanted to integrate technology into our kids lives. At this point, the downsides of tech + kids was just beginning to be a mainstream concern, so we didn’t have a lot research to back-up our wariness. We just knew that we liked what our childhoods were like (movies, TGIF, Saturday morning cartoons), and we didn’t want to overdo it with all the new ways to put screens in front of kids.

Here’s my disclaimer up front: this is meant to be helpful for a family or parent who’s looking for a guide. This is not meant to shame or judge anyone who does it differently. There are a lot of factors that go into how a family utilizes technology, and all of them are valid. Various factors that a family might have to deal with include two working parents, unreliable childcare, a neurodivergent child, no backyard, limited access to the outdoors, etc. Screens are a tool, and we can all choose how to use this tool in our own ways!

I’m sure some people will think that our kids get too much screen time, and others will think it’s so strict. Our approach is meant to be middle-of-the-road; that’s been our goal from the beginning. We want our kids to be able to use technology and not feel left behind relative to their peers, but we don’t want them to be addicted or dependent on it. We feel like we’ve found a good balance for our family, which is why I’m excited to share how we’ve gotten here!

Just like with everything in life, take this with a grain of salt. Is this how we function 100% of the time? Definitely not. As we speak, my kids are on their second movie of the day because we’re in the middle of big home DIY project, so we needed the TV to babysit. The 80/20 rule is how we’re able to make it work the majority of the time, and not feel guilty when it doesn’t.

No Screens Before 12 Months

Our goal when our kids were babies was to not introduce screens until after 1 year. For the most part, we stuck to this. Was it perfect? Nope! We let them watch sports games every now and then, and one-off events like the Olympics (so…I guess sports was our big exception!). Basically—we didn’t set them in front of a screen or TV on purpose during their first year. If it happened during the course of living our normal lives, then fine. But we didn’t introduce them to “TV for kids” until after 12 months.

Between 12 and 18 Months

This was our “introductory period.” We started to sit them in front of the TV with the express purpose of letting them watch something just for them. We began with the pinnacle of children’s programing: Sesame Street. Other favorites at this age included Peppa Pig, Bluey, and anything for toddlers on PBS Kids. We knew they wouldn’t have the attention span for a whole movie yet, but 30 mins of anything was a success! We just randomly did this when we needed it, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. I remember my youngest could care less about TV the first couple months we started letting him watch. I wanted him to sit down for just 20 mins so I could get a break! It started to really interest him around 18 months.

18 Months to Pre-K

Our kids had a screentime routine that stayed relatively the same for YEARS. Keeping screen time predictable and scheduled meant that we weren’t constantly pestered about watching something—they knew exactly when it would happen every day. And if they did ask for it, our answer was simply, “it’s not time yet.” Here’s when we used screens:

• After lunch for 30 minutes

• Before dinner for 30-45 minutes

These were the times of day that worked best not only for the kids, but for us as parents. Getting a break after lunch was great (as a stay-at-home-mom, I really needed a breather after the chaos of mornings!). And who hasn’t experienced “the witching hour” of post-4 pm children. When 5 o’clock rolled around, it was TV time—because I needed to cook dinner and regain my sanity.

It went on this way for years. There were variations of this depending on preschool and special circumstances, but essentially this schedule remained the same.

Our Screentime Guidelines

During their TV time, we established boundaries that we always followed:

1. They always watched on the TV in our family room (not on a personal device)

2. Mom and Dad always handled the remote, kids didn’t get to control the TV

3. We gave them a couple choices to choose from, but they didn’t get to scroll or browse through streaming services

4. We only let them watch movies or kid shows (not YouTube Kids)

5. All our streaming accounts are passcode protected

6. We’d give them a 5 minute warning before TV time ended

Our goal was to take away the endless options and decision paralysis. We wanted their screentime to actually be productive watching something, not just scrolling the whole time. This is also why their screentime happens in the family room on the TV. Watching something together is socially enriching! My kids have always had to watch their movies/shows together, which meant taking turns watching their favorites, being exposed to something they normally wouldn’t have chosen, and learning to take turns. It also means nothing is secret—Mom and Dad can see and hear everything happening on the screen.

Tablets

Don’t worry, we still use tablets! Here’s our guidelines when it comes to personal screens:

1. It’s not yours—it’s Mom and Dad’s. We’re just letting you borrow it

2. Passcode protected, and only Mom and Dad know how to unlock it

3. Usually used for traveling, or excursions outside the house

4. All apps and games are downloaded by Mom and Dad (again, no YouTube Kids)

5. Movies and shows are downloaded prior to travel, which means it’s already been decided what each kid is going to watch because they chose beforehand

6. We have Amazon Fire Kids tablets (not iPads), so the games are very limited and basic. Which works great for us, because they they’re not allowed to play anything that’s connected to the internet

Tablets are a great tool. They’re portable and convenient, and have prevented many a restaurant meltdown. We also DO NOT use them as a toy, or while we’re at home. Our kids don’t have access to them unless we’re the ones giving it to them. Again—it’s not theirs, its ours! We just let them borrow it :) Traveling is usually the main reason we pull them out, but there’s other random times too (sibling soccer practice, a restaurant outing, the waiting room at the dentist office).

We’re trying to achieve balance, not shelter them from “scary” technology. Would I ever be comfortable giving my six year old a tablet and letting him access the whole internet? That’s a no. But I also think letting him learn a game from PBS Kids isn’t going to be detrimental. Because along with playing games every so often, he’s also building Legos, assembling train tracks, drawing pictures, reading aloud, and playing outside. That’s balance. A tablet can be a slice of the pie—just not the whole pie.

School-age Kids

Now that both our kids are in elementary school, our screen time routine has shifted a bit. Since they’re not home for lunch anymore, that means no mid-day screentime. On a regular day, they watch TV for an hour before dinner. It’s basically the same way it’s always been, which means expectations have stayed consistent.

Plus, our kids get screentime at school. They attend an elementary school with iPads for every student, so they’re often on a tablet during school hours. Because of this, we don’t want to overdue it home.

Family Movie Nights

One of our most cherished family traditions has become Family Movie Nights. This was born out of my nostalgia for “Wonderful World of Disney” nights on TV during my childhood. I made a list of all the movies I want to make sure my kids watch while they’re growing up (you can download it here!). Now every Friday night, we sit in front of the TV as a family, eat pizza, relax and unwind together, and bond over a movie. It’s something our kids (ages 6 and 8) look forward to every week. They ask what movie we’re going to watch, what it’s about, get excited about the pizza. This tradition is much more than a movie—it’s essential family time at the end of a long week.

It’s also a good example of how screens can contribute joy to a family. Not all technology is bad, and there is a way to make sure our children experience the magic of movies without the guilt or fear that many parents feel.

Family Movie Nights are also a valuable time to introduce new concepts or ideas to your kids under parent supervision. Last year we watched The Sound of Music, which was the first time I had to explain “Naz*’s” to my kids (it was a very age-appropriate explanation, but nevertheless, it needed to be explained). Or there were a lot of questions about The Prince of Egypt (animated slavery, that was tough). For me, E.T. was one I was both dreading and anticipating. My point is, family movie nights offer a safe place to discuss new things with your kids. I highly recommend!

Video Games

We do have a Nintendo Switch system! I know right…more technology?! Again, it’s all about balance. Our kids always have to ask before they can play, and what we do allow them to play isn’t connected to the internet (no messaging, no joining teams, etc.). Also, video games replaces other screentime. Games instead of TV? That’s their choice. It’s one or the other, both usually isn’t an option.

My husband grew up in the heyday of X-Box and Playstation, so making sure the kids had access to things like Mario Kart and Zelda was really important to him. And honestly, it’s a great social activity. They all sit together on the couch, watching what’s happening, discussing strategies. Again, it’s all about the bonding. We have taken steps to make sure that this isn’t an activity that turns into solo time, zoning out in front of a screen. For our family, video games are interactive and social. It allows my husband to share something he loves with the kids, something special that’s just for them and him.

Old Technology for Modern Kids

You may remember when I wrote about how our family installed a “home phone” in our house? Well…the reel about it went viral on Instagram, I was interviewed for an article on Today.com about it, and called out in an article Jonathan Haidt posted (Haidt is, in my opinion, the most well known spokesperson for this low-tech childhood movement). It turns out this topic is of a lot of interest to a lot of parents!

You can read about our home phone here, but there’s another “old school” tactic that we’ve revived: the Family Desktop Computer. We set-up a family computer in the living room, in our public space, with a huge screen (passcode protected). And for a while, it was just a work station for me. But one day my second grader came home telling me about how she was doing a project at school using Canva. I told her how I use Canva all the time. Then she asked if she could use Canva at home, because she wanted to create little projects on her own, outside of school work. I was hesitant at first, but eventually we reached this awesome place where she is allowed to use Canva (as her screentime) and work on projects that she does completely independently. She’s written books, done book reports on animals, and created slideshows about her family. I love that she’s able to imagine and create using technology, in addition to all the writing, drawing and coloring that she usually does.

The family computer will already be an established, normal thing by the time our kids get older and start needing access to a computer for various reasons. Having a computer that the entire family shares, and that isn’t private, will be nice for our peace of mind and their safety.

The Benefits

What kind of benefits have we seen limiting our kids access to technology? Here’s a few:

1. They can entertain themselves. They’re really good at playing independently, and not needing a screen (or us) to keep them happy.

2. Their attention span is normal (for a kid). They can sit and watch a whole movie, read uninterrupted for 30 minutes, or pay attention in class at school. They haven’t been exposed to the harm of doomscrolling, which can decrease academic achievement.

3. When we need technology to distract them, it works. Because they don’t get unlimited access to screens, when it does happen, it’s very exciting. On 3 hour drives, they can quietly watch something and be occupied the whole time. As parents, it’s nice to have a tool that we know will offer a distraction when we need it.

4. They have good handwriting. Many kids are swiping at screens so much that their fine motor skills aren’t developing like they should, and their handwriting is suffering because of it. My kids have pretty great handwriting, and I think it’s because they don’t spend a lot of time on a touch screen.

There are more, and I’m sure in the future we’ll look back and discover new ways that our approach benefited them in the long run. For us, the hassle of limiting technology in a world saturated with it has been monumentally worth it.

What Happens When Kids Get Older

Honestly? I don’t know. My oldest is turning 9 this week, so we’ll keep coasting on our established boundaries until someone starts pushing back. Then reevaluate as needed.

Here’s what I do know: we feel confident with our foundation. Our kids are active, engaged, curious, and independent. Screens are a normal part of their life, but not a fixation. They know how to navigate technology, but are protected from it as well. We enjoy technology without guilt or fear, but our rules are there for a reason.

Balance is what we’ve aimed for, and I think we’ve gotten it. It wouldn’t have been possible without both my husband and I being on the same page, and both of us enforcing boundaries.

I’m really nervous about the technology hurdles we have a head of us. Social media scares the shit out of me, and I dread the drama of middle school years. But it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone—millions of other parents are trying to navigate the same challenges. Which is why I wanted to write this. The more examples parents have, the easier it might be to overcome this challenge. This is just how our family is doing it, but hopefully it helps other parents figure-out how they want to tackle this modern parenting predicament.